F**** Me, February!

Updating this blog has felt like a real chore of recent months. The past year.
I need to remember why I do it.
To remember what we have done.

I think I liked the idea of others reading it but actually now with the age of the Super You Tubers, blogs are feeling a little dull.
Initially I was a great reader of all sorts of sites but even now I sink into the bath and stick on a video about which face cream will make me appear more youthful or even better a good Kon Mari before and after film which is still a rare find.

Blogs are not dying, it will be what I make it, I have to feed it to watch it grow hopefully.


With that I had a birthday in February and it was lovely, although I believe I shared it with International Cancer Awareness Day. What are the odds?
We had a clean house and I sat on the sofa and put all the flowers and presents and cards in front of me and sent the girls to school.
Then loved ones popped round and G made me a brick brownie, carb free and I drank loads of tea.

When did I start taking photos the wrong way round?

P continues to entertain me.
Curls.

We also went to see a dolls house exhibition, I thought that there would be more to it but there were some gems.

I do have a collection of tiny dolls somewhere in the house, I likes the stitching and cloth on these. So delicate.

A very good polka dot. It's a bit prairie with a twist.

So!! Monday! There is a new National Newspaper called The New Day.

The typesetter who appeared here in January is working her fingers to the bone to make it look special.
For a while we have referred to this project discretely as the YKW.
The New Day title made me frown a little but this week as the sun is shinning its way into spring I like it, and today I am beyond excited for her and for its arrival.
The first edition out on Monday is FREE, so if you are reading this then please pop out and pick up a copy.

CM

The January Clear Out

The Grand Chuck!

As it goes, didn't really this month, last month!
February already.

The shelves in our spare room were imposing and it was depressing me.
This is a before.

I've decided to group all my items, on one side and G's on the other, that way I can go through it all again and again and again.

Boxes came down and were reduced in size. Everything I could let go of went.

This is the after.

I don't think it looks that much different. What I realise that until I sort out the contents of the baskets, which holds twenty five years of cloth hording then it is never going to look 'minimal', which is where I wan to be.
Minimal for me is nothing that isn't in contasnt use and a small amount of items that define my character and history.


The Typesetter was with me at the time, in the excitement of the shelves I didn't manage to photograph her sitting chatting to me on the end of the bed, wanting to include more people I love on the blog, she was rather horrified at my collection of Amazon brown paper!

All neatly folded it's a defining item!

Like everyone I have a bag of wrapping paper etc. Last year I managed to use every last bit and now I can either buy a sheet as necessary or delve into the Amazon collection
The bag needed a sort, it was a bit out of control. 
I fear that the brown paper will never end so I might use the slightly waxed stuff to wrap the kids lunches.

Looking back at these photos I know I can be more ruthless.

In other news T got a gum shield for hockey and just for the hell of it P started wearing her wig.

Then it got cold. We have a small area of under floor heating in the bathroom, I think G left it on for a week!

He then taught the girls how to lay and maintain a fire, which they are excellent at.

They both sit close with their pokers ready for the crackle. T doesn't do the heat so well so really it is up to P to be on it.
Sometimes the odd spark flies and that's a shame because its a nylon carpet but hey ho.
Making memories.

Come on the dark days of Feb. this year I am ready for you!!

CM

Hello 2016!

Girls back to school with gusto and the decision that 2016 will be a New Years Resolution every day as soon as I am home from dropping them off.

Pressure.

By that I mean think carefully about ones day and how best to achieve something that benefits or is memorable to me.
I have never ever felt so unfit, unhealthy, unhappy, unstable mentally and physically and trying to tell myself that it's not as bad as all that and that these feelings will pass is becoming increasingly difficult as the months go by.
I ache.
I am so heavy.
It is beginning to affect my sleep, some nights my head spins with the worry of it all and I have to stand by the window and take deep breaths.

This is the last year I will feel like this.

So there you go, or there I go.

To start with the decorations went back into their boxes all wrapped in green paper I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.

I have even wrapped the decorations in themes, I don't know what this means for next year but it means something.

After this post I am going to write a November note to myself, with reminders of what I have put in place to make the holiday season easier.

Tonight I made the Waitrose Detox Cauliflower Pizza
I had everything in to make it except artichokes, half a portobello mushroom would have to do instead.

This is their version

This is what mine looked like. Ha!

There was very little care in photographing the dish, I was at clearing away stage and my hands were mucky, I did what I could.

Maybe if I added a filter (food stylist) too it would look appetizing.

I tried to make cauliflower cheese over Christmas, I have never made it before, making a white sauce for anything terrifies me so I put off making it but continued to buy the same vegetable over and over again thinking a fresher cauliflower will make the job easier??
WTF.
So with more of it accumulating in the fridge drawer, I made fashionable gluten free pizza instead.

It's not that bad and I am not hungry at all an hour on from dinner.
I don't know what left overs will taste like tomorrow lunch time.

I think the remaining heads will be turned into cauliflower rice. The Deputy Head has mentioned this new thing to me, I might go for it in the week.
If I am honest I was enthusiastic until she also said you add herbs and spices to the mix which basically means running away from the task and I will just end up buying more cauliflower to avoid cooking the dish.

New Years Reso 1- Honesty however ridiculous it makes me look.

It's going to be a long year.

CM

Christmas and New Year 2015

Final post of the year.
Up to date.

Was on it this Christmas, presents bought and wrapped really early, but the execution of getting it in the right place was still right up to the wire. Might write myself a list of things to do and open it in November.
I also said no wrapping of gifts on Christmas Eve, but I think there were loads of tiny gifts that were done in the early hours of the wrong day.

G and I bought the girls a trampoline for their main gift from us, it was in the garden for most of the week and they didn't notice it. not even when they were asked to open their curtains. Daft as brushes.

The uncles came to stay for Christmas and they bought Gerbils with them.
Speedy and Lala they've been named. The girls are over the moon. I am surprisingly not keen.

They are looking after them wonderfully. I am amazed how much they shit. My Dyson can hardly keep up.

Here is me happy again.

P is so long. I need so much sleep this year.
The girls spend most of the holiday crafting bouncing and caring

We spend New Year at G's family home as the whole family can be there, fireworks on the Eve and Monopoly warfare on the Day.
This is us on one of our last dew days together before school starts again.
Resolutions are currently being considered, one of them will involve dealing with that chin of mine.

I love my family.
It's been a shocking year with it's lows I am pleased to close the door on 2015.
I am grateful for what I have and who I have in my life. I cannot believe how fast it can all pass along. This year I have found ways to enjoy the days one at a time and I shall carry that through to 2016.
If you are reading this then I know you are by my side and I love you.

Thank you
xx

CM